Never saw the movie

I do not feel guilty. If I would have expected Begoña at the door of the theater, none of this would have happened. So I was late as usual. -Is there-I told the usher, when he saw the familiar neck of Begoña and a seat on the right. The theater was jammed. On screen, the action was at night. 'Hello, darling, I told my girl. And kissed her on the cheek while, as usual, introduced my hand into his crotch. - AAAAHHHHHH! Screamed the other, like a factory siren. The next guy jumped. -Assumption, what happens? The Assumption that had given him a nervous breakdown. And to me the biggest flush of my life. I had the wrong girl. Before I let go a slap another of cracking, I was slipping out of my seat. The slap came as a shell, a kind of the front row, who had turned to see what happened. I, in my haste to get away, stepped on a fat man savagely and I bumped into a boy who ate peanuts. The wife of the victim screamed, not knowing to whom: - Wild!

The boy rolled moaned: - Mom! Mom! One guy from the back row was indignant: - See if you are silent! Two rows away was heard: - let us see the movie! A friend who received it squirmed and hit slap blindly. Also the wrong recipient.

- A bitch! -Were outraged the newcomer to the brawl. - My child! -Was desperate boy's mother for peanuts. - What happens there? He asked, shouting. An usher ran down the hallway with a flashlight beam zigzagging in front of him. He stumbled with a spectator who had risen to snoop. He said: - AAAAHHHHHH! -While skiing without skis down the aisle. At the end there was: - Craaaac! And another female voice: - Frederick, a man is above me! - My child! -Was the mother before. - Your father! -Heard two rows beyond. - Here, you! -Before a loud cluck elsewhere. - You do not hear the movie! -Came from the bottom. One of the first top row, which had looked to see what happened, he fell with a crash on the stalls. - Woe! -Could still hear below. - My husband! What makes my husband? - The light! Let them give light! -Entered the fray another voice. - A man who flies! -Had shouted that he saw a fall to the henhouse. - Let him come the cops! -A person trying to impose order. - Frederick, ravish me! - My child! - Poof! When it was light, took me crawling on the side aisle, and near the exit door.

Between two and three hundred persons were engaged in a great mess. The faint sound of sirens approaching from outside. The next day, as if nothing had happened, I told Begoña: 'I could have waited for me at the movies. And I waited, 'he said. But yesterday the show was in the movie "Ideal?, On the other side of town. Have you not seen the paper? I was livid. So I had the wrong film. A large newspaper headline read: "Vandalism in a movie?. Then he explained: "Fifty injured, three rapes, fifteen wallets stolen and damage amounting to two and a half million pesetas?. In another prominent newspaper, ventured a guess: "You suspect an organized gang of juvenile delinquents?. And ended with a call: "How long will we have to continue holding him? A cold sweat began to run all over my body. Innocent, Begoña asked: - Are we going to the movies again? But I have not become any more. (This story was first published in the Sunday supplement of El Periodico de Catalunya in Barcelona on October 10, 1987)